Why would you be upset at someone at Christmas time when they are going through hard times? Have a little compassion for others. You tell him not to worry about a gift for you this year and give him less stress.Yeah, that's a bit selfish on your part. Christmas shouldn't be all about the tangible gifts. Maybe you could do something nice for them: giving is part of Christmas. Plus, it would mean the world to your boyfriend and his mum.I would say no. Because he doesnt have to spend a lot of money, he could get you something thoughtful, or write you a love peom or something.
Or he could make a cutback (say not having his weekly pint at the pub etc) and use that money to pay for it.yes you are selfish you should tell him u don’t want a present i mean i know u do…how doesn’t but still he is in debit if u really like u would care about him in about how if he does get you a persent it is just going to put in more debt soo…..i hope my answer help i am not trying to be mean i just want u too see where i am coming from…!!Presents dont have to cost a load of money! something very small to say I am thinking of you would do! Or he could offer to wash your car, cook a meal etc. Just a gesture to say I care would be fine.

Also make sure that he not pressured into spending money he cant afford on others either!!Well, do you really want to be that person?
The materialistic girlfriend who DEMANDS her present despite knowing the situation her boyfriend is in. He’s able to make you a gift, but other than that…you really need to figure out your priorities woman.I'd be dissappointed hun , if he's earning still , he should be able to afford something small for you!

I dont know your situation , but my bf's crap with money , i never expect owt from him , yet i always give
its improving though

It depends how long youve been with him and stuff , ive learnt dont put in as much if your not recieveing anything back

Yeah you have a right to be upset but . . .id be more upset if he had tons of money and didnt but you owt special

Just try and support him Yeh thats bad. If u want a present that much go buy urself one. He must feel really bad not getting u n e thing, without u even going to make it worse. U shud support him not bitch at him, wot have u dont to help him out? Ur supposed to be a team yano.If you haven’t already complained about it, suggest that in light of his financial challenges this year, that you have a limit on the price of the gifts you exchange. Make it a low number, and talk about maybe a theme or how it can be something funny or meaningful, instead of something of commercial value.

Gift giving is supposed to be an expression of caring, not a grim obligation. It needn’t be expensive. But you need to tell him that.To some degree, yes. Even if he can’t go out and buy something for you — that would indeed be too much to expect if he’s in terrible debt — you’d think he would do something for you instead, even if the cliche’d “coupon book” (coupons for things he’ll do for you).

You may have a right to be upset/worried depending on the circumstances of the debts, also. If it’s not her fault and she’s doing as best she can — say, medical expenses — then he’s a good man, looking after family. If she’s a gambler, or wasteful, or irresponsible, and he keeps going in afterwards to clean up afterwards and take the responsibility for her that she rejects, then he’s an enabler, and things likely won’t change.what’s his mum have to do with anything? Is your boyfirend 12?

Who said a Christmas gift had to cost anything?
He could clean your whole apartment, cook you a great dinner, actually sit through “The Notebook” with you, anything that shows he cares.

Expecting something of monetary value from him eventhough he is in debt would definitely put you in the wrong from my window at least.If I were in his situation, I would try to make something myself, and do a really good job with it and put and lot of love into it. Or, I’d buy something inexpensive but thoughtful.

If I were in your situation, I’d try to show a little understanding, for crying out loud.I think that it is a very diffucult moment for your boyfriend…if you love him you must support him! I think that he is mad for your christmast present!

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081210063514AAJQrXD&r=wI would think you would be happy that he has placed his mom and her difficulties before all else. Put any hurt aside and consider yourself lucky if you get to marry this man. He has a positive attitude. His love will make up for any missing gift.Christmas is more than just presents, he sounds like an okay guy by helping someone other than himself. He could give you a token gift expressing his care for you. Watch however that what he is telling you re his mothers debt that it is the real thing. Is he generally kind and considerate? Does he give you gifts for other occasions? For some this might be a deal breaker.

I almost never receive a gift for any occasion, and I often reflect on the fact that daily kindness would be a tremendous gift.

I just read your edit and it sounds like he is not the gift giving type. Is he considerate most of the time? He doesn't sound like marriage material until he puts you ahead of Mum. I wouldn't sit around waiting for that to happen. You just need a completely different guy. The fact that he isn't getting you a gift is kinda the icing on the cake of the whole bad relationship. Go find someone who puts you first.

Some guys just hate to shop and don't really know what to get so this may be his way of copping out.

To spend either Christmas Eve or Day together and prepare a special meal for each other would be a good exchange.

This can be a situation that makes you two stronger or breaks you up. You have to decide how much you really love him and if you believe that he really loves you.If he is handy, he could make a present for you. Then it would be something from the hand and heart, rather than from a store. If you cared at all for him, you would accept this sort of gift. A bit of disappointment may be ok, but to be upset would be wrong. your boyfriend should be buying you a christmas pressie, he soon helped his mum out with cash so you are not being selfish at all expecting something. my hubby just been made redundant and if he didnt get me a christmas pressie i would be making him redundant too!! youre right there are plenty of nice gifts cheap out there at the moment. hope you get something as you deserve it like everyone else. good luck!! xIf a gift matters to you then he should know that and get you something, if he cares about you and your feelings (apparently that’s what boyfriends are meant to do.) If he is in debt then you should be understanding (which it appears you are) and expect/accept something inexpensive.I don’t think you are selfish. He could put some effort in and get you loads of stuff and spend hardly any money – he just needs to get creative. If he can’t be bothered then is he worth keeping? Someone once brought me a small shell back from their holidays – not a fancy one bought from a shop just an honest to goodness beach find. I was so touched that he had taken the care to get it back to the UK and then brought it to me because he knew I would like it – I still have it almost 20 years later. Or why can’t he make you something. An ex-boyfriend when I was a student made a pair of earrings for me – how impressive is that? And they must have cost pence to make but I realy apprecaited them – I felt really special and cared for.If you are expecting a swanky present than yes you are wrong! But if you just want some show of appreciation than no I don’t think you are wrong. Even when I have been impoverished I have always got my loved ones a present even if it has only been something cheap from a charity shop or a cake I’d made. If I really could not afford anything I’d do some chores for them. If he usually makes the effort to show you that he appreciates you then I’d probably let it go.

Whilst it is admirable that he is helping his mum I hope he won’t continue once you two are more serious, especially if you are planning on having kids one day.

 

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